On My Own

You have to feel the fear before you start to be brave.

There comes a time when we are forced to be brave despite what the world is throwing at us.  Fear comes to those who were hurt and it is dangerous to dwell in it for a long time. We fear that we’ll be alone. We fear that nobody will be there to catch us when we fall. We fear that the person who cared for us the most becomes the very stranger we knew and afraid to talk to a decade ago. But fear also passes just like everything else. Hurt also fades as time goes on each day. And when you completely feel that the hurt and fear subsides, you start to stand up and play this little game of bravery until you are able to walk again independently.

We seek our closest friends for comfort and appreciation because we lost all of that from the departure of a significant other. But it is with great change if we start to seek comfort and appreciation from ourselves.

Love comes from within.

-Rai

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Killing Off 2 Female Characters

I believe that this is the first time that I’ll be talking about the TV show that I’ve been addicted to watch for almost 6 months now I guess. Despite my inability to digest everything that I learned last night, I am still looking forward to getting out of bed, eat my lunch, do my laundry, and download the latest episode!

I am starting to hate The Originals’ writers. They killed off Cami in last week’s episode and now Davina. I know that Davina might come back (because she’s a New Orleans witch) although they made it clear in the latest episode that her spirit is not there any more, I can feel it that CW just can’t cut off Davina so soon. If she doesn’t come back by the end of the season, she might be back on Season 4 and she will be one of the most powerful witches of New Orleans! Here’s hoping!

I just couldn’t believe it. I wish next week’s episode would be better. Marcel’s pretty upset and the serum that was taken from Aurora’s body is in the hands of Vincent just waiting to unleash Marcel’s rage.

Me too Davina, I didn’t sign up to watch you and Cami die!

When you died C, my neurons shut down too!

To Fear or Not to Fear : Permanent

A word that I was so afraid to read or even hear. I don’t want to be a permanent crime or mistake. I wanted to be the person who made the mistake and makes everything clear after the ending. But nothing changed and I’ll always be the girl who broke his heart twice. I will always be the one who committed the crime.

Nathan is still the same person who keeps everything to himself and I would’ve known this all along. Nathan will never participate in a closure  nor listen to explanations of a half decade long love. Because to him, when a mistake is made, it is done and there will be no questions asked he will always hear his own thoughts.

I have come face to face with a lot of my demons lately and being so vulnerable made the selfish side of me come out yet again. I am not brave and a temporary fix like a band-aid consisting of alcohol, shopping, swimming, and eating my favorite cuisine will not deliberately make the pain and the reality vanish.  Continue reading “To Fear or Not to Fear : Permanent”