Separation Anxiety: Level 1 to 2

I wasn’t able to sleep properly last night.

I don’t know if I mentioned it here in my blog that my roommate is moving back home to the Philippines for good. I believe that I mentioned it in one of my YouTube videos. Anyways, we had breakfast yesterday together after not having breakfast for a long time since she went home for vacation last December and when she got back; she’s always early at work. Our schedules are not the same at all. She bought egg muffins and pancakes from McDonald’s and we had breakfast together. Her last day was Wednesday but as our company policy, the employee may stay in the accommodation for a maximum of 7 days. I prepared our morning green teas and watched music videos while having breakfast (since we both love music and singing so much). After breakfast, we went back to our room and while I prepare my things to go to work, she started removing her clothes from her closet. It made me feel sad but no time to cry! I have to go to work.
When I went home last night, I saw her cargo box outside our door all wrapped up and ready to be picked up by the cargo company. Her name, address, and two mobile numbers from the Philippines are written. I thought that I could find her in our room but when I leaned, I couldn’t hear any noise. Usually, I should hear the television if she’s in. But there was no sound. I opened the door, turned on the lights and saw her bed without a bed sheet. Her bags are packed lying on the floor waiting to be brought home. I knew she’s spending with her boyfriend spending more time together. It made me feel sad and teary so I shook my head and told myself that I won’t dwell with the loneliness.
I changed my clothes and went to the gym. Besides, the last time I went to the gym was last Sunday. I could waste some time burning some fats instead of lying in bed and feeling the anxiety eat me. After hitting the gym, I went home and prepared my green tea, put it at my bedside desk, and stepped in the shower. As I was taking my bath, I realized how time flies so fast. I felt like it was only yesterday when she arrived in my room as this stranger that I don’t really know. I lived with her for two years and she’s leaving tomorrow. Writing this piece now makes me feel like crying but I won’t. I’ll save it at the airport. (Chos!)

It’s her choice and I really couldn’t make her change her mind now. She told me that she might come back but she can’t guarantee. I told her that I’ll go and visit her when I go for vacation since I prefer now to land at Clark Airport which is only 10 minutes away from her hometown.

When I woke up this morning, I realized that being with someone for two years and then knowing that they will leave is heartbreaking, what more if you were with someone for more than two years? Now I can imagine how hurting it must be for my friends and my parents when I left. It must be depressing. I was miserable at 16 when my brother went here in the Middle East.

But this… This is different. She wasn’t a family by blood. She was a stranger who became a part of those few people who are special in my life.

Iya Rai


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