Level-headed

As I try to summarize all the emotions that we both let each other know through the internet, it takes me to one decision to let things happen and not act upon it. I wanted so bad yesterday to go home and resign. My mother called and I told my brother too. I didn’t get excited when my mother started to say things that she wanted me to do when I come home, but that’s just her. I mean mothers will always make us do things that will keep us busy and are good for us. I went home earlier than the normal time that I should go home because it was too hard for me to carry such weight of non-stop replay of everything that he just told me on Sunday. Thinking about it now even makes me shiver right now. I had a lot of questions but it all boils down to two words, my fault.

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Gasping for ghosts

Yes, I miss you, every day, in the morning and dawned afternoon, once the sun gives up and the dark caresses the newly grown marbled moon. Here I stand smelling your absence, and I live. And if this vacancy implies this thought-out well-being by me found for I can’t touch you, then maybe I’m good as I am, me alone and the shadows of who I used to be at your side.

Let's talk about the L word!

I evoke a huge part of what I can still remember after such long and penetrating space of time drained in between. I easily meander when I’m not in me nor step in this very ground, I laugh to the leaves that shake early in the morning still poor and cloudy. Not a sound to be heard, just the music I listen to, tracks routinely played on repeat cause they’re part of me and you, an us that ceased to happen. At half volume, I rejoice in the repression of both these unnatural melodies and the ones which sound strange to me, nature’s chimes.

I try to figure life out, that’s why I aim getting lost while admiring what rises as repetitive as months, years pass by. I see you at times through these eyes which still think they know you. Are they blind? Am I cracked to picture you…

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Turn It Off?

There are times like today when I just want to start anew and never look back; fool myself that I don’t know my friends or anybody from the past 25 years of my life. I don’t know how people call it but I get this feeling every two or three months to just walk away from everyone and everything. I want to go to a place where nobody knows me, cut from social media, leave all the devices for communication, and just exist.. But I can’t, can I?

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