Living abroad away from home isn’t easy. Sometimes we grow in denial that we are needy of somebody to be with. There are times when we need friends but there are times that we discover that there is something wonderful and liberating in going out alone and well doing things by yourself. Loneliness and yearning may climb up your emotions but by not letting these eat you, in my opinion, make you not just a better person who understands more about the real world but also strong and independent. My roommate can’t eat alone. She loses her appetite whenever she knew that I have eaten dinner already. I wanted to understand why some people like her are needy of a companion just to eat a meal. There are a lot of good things in eating alone and I am here to enumerate them. But before I proceed, I wanted to clear things up before somebody in the Internet sphere will go against or bash on this post.
Some people call me a loner or someone who loves company but herself. But let me be clear as that people who are not following my blog may not know that in my previous posts, I have some difficulties making friends abroad due to the walls I built. I don’t want to create deep connections with other people or in short, make that huge amount of friends because I know that someday, somehow, I’ll be leaving again and I’ll be the one to get hurt with the separation anxiety. Yes, it is a part of growing to get to know people but as I always mention in my previous blog posts that this doesn’t necessarily mean that we need to make friends again. I have a handful of friends back home that I can trust and my friendship with those people are built based on that solid foundation for years.
Colleagues are colleagues. Acquaintances are acquaintances.
I have found comfort in going to the mall alone, going to the bars alone, and eating anywhere alone. Although, I can be talkative if I’m with my brother, sister-in-law, and my roommate, I have created that wall that will always separate acquaintances and colleagues and people close to my heart. My time is precious not to be wasted on people who will never understand why I am what I am and for people who are so close-minded on things that are happening in reality. Yes, fear, loneliness, and guilt are all part of that being able to live abroad or anywhere unfamiliar and far from home but this is what makes you a better & stronger person ready to face another challenge in another country maybe or continent.
Such a long introduction Rai just to enumerate the benefits of eating alone. Haha! Here we go:
1. You can order anything. I find it difficult when people I dine with ask me what I want and they’ll just order the same. We all have different taste buds so why do you have to ask me what do you want to eat. I understand if I’m the one who invited the person in the restaurant because I’ve been there or something, of course I will recommend some food that I liked but will always say that we might have different taste-view on specific dishes.
2. You can enjoy your food in silence and just eat. I like having conversations with my friends and family over meals in the past but being able to eat in silence and JUST EAT is better. This allows me to chew my food more and really, just enjoy the food and the ambiance of the restaurant.
3. You can eat slow or fast. Whether you’re just there at the restaurant to eat or you’re having a bite to go get your groceries afterwards, it takes into another level of contentment with this benefit. You don’t have to wait for someone to finish eating before you could go to the stores to go shopping! I just love it. I can leave anytime I want or as soon as I finish my drink, I will order the bill and get out of the restaurant.
4. Pay for your own. You don’t need to worry about how much you need to split the bill or worry what you consumed and not consumed while looking at the bill. When you get the bill, you see everything you ate and well, pay for all of it.
Sincerely bloated right now,
Iya Rai 🙂