Loving Away

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for more than two years now and it had taught me a lot of things not only about love but life. We can never control another person’s decisions or dreams. Each person has his/her own unique point of view and we cannot just let them change it for someone who doesn’t believe in them. I was clingy, short-tempered, very emotional, envious, and insecure. I concentrated so much on making myself happy by putting restrictions to another person’s life powered by my emotions that were unnecessary but logically convincing for the situation, from my view. Being an individual, we need our own space and time. But not always, unless you’re someone like me who doesn’t bother being alone or with the company of other people. By living away from the so-called comfort zone, I have learned how to be independent not only in life but in love specifically. I’d never thought that a day would come where I wouldn’t even bothered worrying about sending or not sending a message to my significant other where I am. Well, it’s supposed to be something done but I’m not always worried at all knowing that he’ll understand. I have learned to eat alone. Some people like my roommate couldn’t stand eating alone. Eating alone is an opportunity to not be conscious what your choices of food are, you get to leave anytime without worrying of waiting for somebody to finish, you get to be comfortable being just on your own. It became usual to me and I got used it. Too bad, it made me look like a loner. But I don’t care what other people say anyways so if they call me whatever, I wouldn’t mind. They don’t know me and I only let a few people come in to my life who earned that place. That’s one thing I learned in being away as well. I have guarded myself. I don’t want like to be with people who talks behind other people’s back. When I turned 23, I started to build that wall. A thick wall hiding myself from people that I don’t personally know or have an emotional attachment to. And when I turned 24, I started to understand why I had to cut people in my life a year earlier. Their lives are far different from mine and I tried to reach out but they ignored.

Sincerely emotional and thought bugged, 

Iya Rai 💋

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