I have chosen not to

How stupid can I be to go back every time to your space and watch helplessly while you play there. Anybody can fall in love with a musician that is as good as you but why do I keep coming back for more? You’re like a cigarette that I love to get addicted to even though it’s bad for me. I am naive for sitting here miles away watching you play in front of my laptop when I can just call you any time if I wanted to. But I have chosen not to. I feel like every time I hear you play, my heart keeps on telling me that I want to be with you. But I have chosen not to.

This is enough. Watching you play from thousands of miles away would be a safer place for me. But why do you still have this effect on me? I will be honest with you, when I went home last year and this year, I wanted to meet you or at least say hi to you. Will I be able to say hi or just smile and stand there watching you look at me. But I have chosen not to.

You caught my eye and my heart once. I still let you catch it every time I waste my time hours in front of my laptop just to watch you play wishing that I could someday sit next to you and sing the songs that you play.

But I have chosen not to.

Sincerely, Iya

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