Thoughts on Marriage

“I will never get married. I just want to be committed to myself.”DSC_1137

One of my brother and sister-in-law’s friends came over last night and they are talking about the difference between being married and being in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. She had dinner with us and she told us how big of an adjustment it is to be married. She just recently got married and I don’t want to talk about that further. Anyways, going back.. She told me that sooner or later, I’ll be in the same page with them asking questions, feeling the confusion, and surprisingly agitated.

It’s different living with another individual in the same roof. You get to know how they are in the house and who does this and that. I was laughing and I told them that due to a traumatic experience, I might never consider getting married. I mean like.. Come on, marriage isn’t for everybody. What about the nuns and the priests? They don’t get married. I’d rather get married to myself. Well that couldn’t be. So I’ll just commit myself to me. They are laughing and that I’ll eventually eat what I just said. But that’s how I feel now and for the next years to come. I don’t want to get married. As much as a lot of happiness and family planning this and that is involved, I just don’t want to do it. It’s too much work working with someone who will never understand me. It’s so crazy that eight months ago, I badly wanted to get married to my significant other. But he’s just not ready. It may sound selfish but I think I’ll never be ready. Rejection has taught me a lot of things. Never ever depend on someone whom you can never depend on even after years of being in the relationship. I don’t want to say that our relationship’s going down. But I just don’t feel like we should end up together right now or for the next few years to come. Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him without a contract or a ceremony. Why can’t we just stay together and be happy? Why do we have to do what society tells us to do? Marriage. I have seen a lot of marriages in my life. Most of it are a total failure, some is a so-so, and one is true. Only one. 

I don’t want to be someone who hates marriage. I just don’t understand why people should be. Society says this and that so that there will be an order. What? To hide my surname under another person’s surname because we’re getting married? To carry a child for him with a pain that he will never understand? To cook food for him as per the society’s traditional standards. These standards doesn’t even fit in the present age. Modern traditional married couples are embracing being equal in the house. He and she should work. He and she should cook. He and she should wash the dishes. He and she should clean. Not just one. Should cook, clean, work, wash, and clean.

Please don’t hate me. I just need to let it out. That’s all.

Sincerely, Iya

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3 thoughts on “Thoughts on Marriage

  1. It’s okay let it out, it seems like your gripe isn’t with marriage. It’s with a person’s inability to keep a promise of commitment. I don’t believe in Law binding marriage either. I mean, I don’t want an extra party in my relationship, saying when, how, what, and why….the faith of Love is coming home everyday because you heart beat continues to match theirs. Not because you signed a paper that says you can’t leave until you provide a sum of money. But, I do believe in a commitment. My word, that as long as you don’t kill my spirit, it would be forever yours. Your argument, is so many people get divorced….so many single people commit suicide or are unhappy. But, that’s doesn’t have to be you. Never measure a faith on another’s inability to adapt that faith. To honor that faith. People have let me do before, but I continue to search for someone who would never. That’s faith, I may be a romantic. But cynicism isn’t living. People are horrible out here, but remember all you need is one!!!!

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    1. That is so true. Thank you so much for the comment. I guess I’m still new in this whole real world game. The real world isn’t much of a safe place after graduating from college a few years ago. I didn’t think that this would be one of those things that I have to consider being a young adult. But thank you so much for the comment 🙂

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      1. This real world thing is clay. Mold the world you wish to live in. What you see today, does have to be tomorrow. Love is a gift. If everyone takes it for granted but you find one more person which doesn’t. Connect your heart to theirs, and I promise you will fight but to build a strong foundation to live happily. The “real world” has killers but it always has saints….all of it is real. Just focus on being on the right side and you will feel the greatest of joy. I appreciate your vulnerability, it’s refreshing. So, you’re welcome and thank you for letting me in….

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