It is hard when we consider those people that we love before making any decisions for ourselves. We need to observe and examine how it will affect them, then you. Although some people tell me that I should let go of this idea and stop worrying about other people, sometimes it looks selfish. For me, I grew up in a home where I should conside other people’s feelings first before mine. So I couldn’t understand why my significant other just couldn’t include me in his future plans. Does this mean that I am not a priority and I’m letting myself decompose in this relationship hoping that we’ll live happily ever after? There is no such thing nor him trying to bring it to life. There were no words to sustain a hopeful dream of being together for the rest of our lives. His actions only made me feel more uncomfortable settling down. I don’t see myself settling down at all, with anybody.
I always include him in my plans. Why can’t he do the same for me? Is this what I have come to fear? That we’re slowly drifting apart? Because of my absence? Because of my choice to go abroad?
I am guilty of my actions. I am to blame.