Phones, Vacations, & Bitterness?

Hello WordPress!

My apologies for not being able to update this comfort zone of mine. I have been busy lately dealing with some things that I have to deal with at work and at home so now I am blogging from.. secret! I updated my Blogger last week and posted photos from our Staff Party which wasn’t that awful and not that impressive as well. The food was extraordinary specially the seafood pasta! Our theme was Latin America so I didn’t know that seafood pasta is in line of the cuisine of guacamole. I’m being real here. I’ve recently found some comfort zones in my building as well. Having been able to have someone to talk to all the time actually gave me the relief. He was a common friend of one of my friends who left the property already and he kind of reminds me of my guy bestfriend at home. So I feel really homey when we’re talking to heading out. My roommate is also a common friend but let’s face it, we’re spending more time together because we share the same vices. Whoa. Yes, I am still going to admit in this blog that I still smoke. But at least it’s not like before that I can finish a packet of cigarette in a day. That’s long gone.

I also bought a new phone. I don’t know why but somewhere somehow, I’ll have to get rid of my Sony Xperia. It’s the best phone I ever had since I’m the type of person who loves to just get a hold of my phone right after I shower. One thing I love about my Xperia is its feature of being waterproof and the music. It’s vital that when I buy a phone, it serves as my radio. Although I have my ipod touch, a phone with a good speaker can immediately imprison my heart. Two years ago, I have the iphone 4s, a hand-me-down from my sister-in-law. At first, when the new iphone came out, I had mixed feelings. I wanted to get the iphone 5s before because I had the urge to go back to ios not because of the software but because of the interface. There is something in the interface of iphone that makes me feel comfortable. (No hate comments please from Android users). But I had been going through a lot of thinking and was even considering buying the one I saw last week which is the Blackberry Q5! Having a physical Qwerty keypad is something I missed a lot!

Well, I don’t know but I just had to decide. AND THERE.. I have a new phone. Let’s stop talking about the phone.

I wanted to talk about my vacation. I’ll be officially flying home to the Philippines on the 21st of March which makes me feel nervous right now because the HR still didn’t renew my Visa! I already signed & renewed my contract last week and I’ll start bugging them tomorrow. Because I don’t want to get my OEC (Overseas Employment Certificate) in the Philippines. I don’t want to be involved in long lines and too much sweating and waiting. I’d rather get the OEC here without paying too much and sweating too much. The waiting, I can bear here because the embassy here has efficient air-conditioning. Well, in the Philippines, don’t even ask!

Next thing that I want to talk about is that I’m wondering and asking myself why I can’t feel any excitement going home. I mean, come on! I should, right? Maybe let’s just say that I might not get the thing that I want to have when I go home but I’m still looking for that sign. I know I saw the sign in my last vacation but I’m hoping that I would see the sign I need this time. And if I don’t, let’s just say that I’ll just never really believe in happily ever after and decide not to engage with something that would commit me forever for nothing. I might be saying this because I’m just 24. But nah, this is what I feel right now. If someone won’t let me feel that I’m the priority, I’m walking away.

I guess that’s all that I could do. Walk away from the thing I need the most to learn to be on my own.. which is so much better!



Tear Vomit

I wish I could become a better a person who will inspire him but I just can’t seem to be that person. I just keep on disappointing him with my expectations. I am making him feel bad every time and question why we’re still together despite all the wrong things I did to him.

Should I let him go for him to be happy?

He didn’t send me a single text message today. I know he’s pissed off but it’s not like him.. He can’t resist me. But somehow he can now..and it’s hurting me.

I sent him a goodnight message, asking if he still wants to be with me. If he doesn’t he must tell me now so that I could make arrangements for my vacation. And if he still wants to see me.

I don’t feel him around any more. I can’t understand him lately. We’re not talking that much as well. He even told me that it was a choice I made two years ago to go away like it’s my fault that I am hurting that I’m away from him. He said that he didn’t mean to say that I’m at fault but it was a part of that decision I did years ago.

I don’t know any more. I wanted to be with him but I wanted to stay here too because of the job opportunity.

It hurts so bad I can’t cry any more.

I just want him to come after me.

Good News. Bad News.

I knew it…

I was very happy the other due to my photo shoot’s success because my photos were loved by the manager and PR and it will be featured on the official flyer of one of our restaurants.

My significant other was involved in a car accident two days ago and my mother was rushed today to the hospital because of pneumonia.



Fucked up friendships.

I don’t think the friendships I broke will ever be the same..

Think. Think. Think.

She reached out and I only replied today with knowing that she declined my friend request on Facebook. Fine, I’ll accept that. If I won’t get them back, at least I tried. I don’t want to be that someone who’s being such a beggar for friendships. What we used to be 5 or 7 years ago was something precious but was taken away from yours truly due to her emotional distress of being abroad. Well excuse me for being a bitch but if you will not try to reach out ever again and you won’t reply, I won’t fucking care and I’ll stop.

I’m so tired of trying to please friends that I didn’t used to please before.

Thank you. Happy Valentine’s Day WordPress!


Appreciation accepted!

 Do you know of the feeling of appreciation and support? 😉

I posted in my blog yesterday that I was going to shoot for the upcoming promotion of one of our restaurants. It went excellent! Seriously! I’d never thought taking photos with the pressure on top of my head. Well, I was self-pressuring (is that even a legal term?). The results were great and the chef and manager of the restaurant loved my photos. I am proud to share the appreciation sent through email today when they saw the photos.



The photos that I have personally chosen to share are in my blogger blog. You can click the link on the upper right corner of this page and see Blogger Account. Those photos are raw and without any filtered. I haven’t edited them anywhere. I only had to put my logo.

Good news, two of my photos are getting published on the official hotel flyer! 😉 So far so good for my first photo shoot!