2 Big Realizations of 2014

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Happy New Year WordPress!

I was at work last night and made sure that all of my reservations came for our New Year’s Eve Gala event. Too bad, I had to wait for all the checks to be closed before going home and I went home at around 2 am. I came to work 930 am and I really felt so tired when I came home.

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My room mate was kind enough to bring her friends at our kitchen and wait for me for food and a few drinks. I remember eating my lunch yesterday at around 230pm and was only able to steal two Maki Rolls at the back area of the event at around 11pm!

It didn’t feel like it was a very special occasion to celebrate. It’s just another normal day to go through. The only difference is the dates and the year. It’s the same, at least for me.

So far, what I can say about my 2014 is that I had a lot of realizations and I would like to enumerate them:

1. Prioritize Myself, FIRST.

So when I say that I realized that I have to prioritize myself first, it means that the plans, decisions, and choices I made and take should be in the benefit of myself. It’s not about being selfish but I believe in that old quote saying something about loving yourself first will make you have a clearer view of loving others in the future.

I was caught in the trap of number 2.

2. Never say never.

When me and my boyfriend became official back in 2010, I was love drunk which is nice and awful at the same time. I had to leave my friends off just to be with him and all. It was a mistake I made and five years later, I am so reaping the benefits of it. I only have one to three friends who understood how I felt when I was love drunk. I told myself that I will never not feel that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him. But when maturity occurs (I guess) and realizations come in like you get to know the person better through the years and you know that he’s worthy but I’m not a part of his priorities as of the moment and he even mentioned how hurt he was now that our lives are on the opposite direction. He should’ve seen it before right? So that we wouldn’t be bugging ourselves now hurting each other. I guess flying abroad helped me realize that I don’t need him that much. I am happy being with myself right now and I even learned not to be so clingy telling him where I am and asking and begging for him to do the same thing for me and will call me a nagger. I stopped asking and begging for my right because it’s ridiculous. I have learned that I don’t need to beg to my special someone to do something for me. It should be something anticipated if you’re in love or you just normally love someone. A few months ago, I came to a realization that I don’t feel like I’ll ever be married or settle. I might settle but,  on my own. Some people at work say that at the age of 24, some really feel that way. They cannot see anything ahead with somebody. But my question is why does it have to be somebody? Can’t I be on my own and own a cat or a dog? I guess that’ll be better.

But as of the moment, I have decided not to settle down, or ever. I am not bitter, but I have discussed in some of my previous posts about how I saw a marriage example with my parents and I don’t want that. They may not be me or my future partner & whoever it may be, I just feel now like marriage will never be right for me.

I am not ready and I don’t see myself sharing that future with anybody but a cat or dog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN WORDPRESS!

Looking forward to a year full of my posts about being on my own 😉

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And here I am, walking away from you terrible, but a mind blowing learning experience 2014!

P.S. I didn’t go to work today, I am sick!

🚺| Iya

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