For some reason, I used to compare my blogs in the past to other successful bloggers who get a lot of views. And I get jealous, I want to be like them too. But I wasn’t as energetic and active like them with the same reason that I’m trying to resist my happiness because as I have mentioned in my previous post that I feel like every time I try to look forward to a happy day and get out with a positive way of thinking and a heart beating, I tend to find bad luck. But I have wondered how they all started like me, not caring how many viewers they’ll have as long as they’ll be able to express themselves freely and share to the World Wide Web whatever they want to share and I must admit that consistency in writing and posting is what I have lost in the past. I used to post every now and then but was strayed to a path of my significant other’s. I didn’t notice that I started to lose myself that my own confidence was eaten slowly by what people as love.
I’m not blaming the person. (Blame game again Iya! You’re so bad!) I just want to say that from the very start, my defenses were all broken by the L word. But how can you not if it feels like whatever the books describe it to be. So the walls that I have been building for years before falling into love again knowing that I’ll have more defenses was put to waste. But I’m starting to build my walls again and just care about me..MYSELF.
There’s nothing more rewarding but keeping yourself moving and positive in a way. Although I already anticipate bad luck after a few hours or so, a risk is a risk. It’s something that will make you feel comfortable and uncomfortable in the end whether it’ll end good or bad. But whatever things we may encounter in life, we must not give up on the more important things/people like us.
Our body and soul.
So, lately.. I’ve been thinking whether I should delete my blogger blog since there’s no option to keep it private! =( But all the memories I have there will be deleted and I’m thankful to those memories, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be where and who I am right now. But sometimes, there are some things that we need to go away from for us to be able to keep moving forward and start a new. I wanted to start a new blog that’ll show more about me, the deeper side of me. So that the number of viewers won’t matter, my posts and their messages matters.