Worries: Deal or No Deal?

I called the manager who hired me for the position that I’m transferring to in a couple of weeks. It’s the first of November and today’s supposed to be my official transfer date but since my department needs me until the 15th, the department I’m moving to agreed. At first I was mad because I wanted to leave my current job so bad but I know within myself that there’s a better and bigger plan for me so I just have to be patient. Rushing things is something that I’m used to and ever since I stayed overseas, waiting patiently is something I learned..the hard way.

So I called her to confirm about our deal. Not to brag or to mean that I got the position because of our deal but before I said yes and accommodated their invite for the job, I had to make things clear. I’m not greedy or anything but everybody knows why we’re going in an adventure (if you can call this journey that way) abroad, money. Most of us who go overseas to earn and save more money because our country cannot provide the needed amount of money that we need in order to survive everyday and at least experience the little pleasures in life. Some of us go and explore and build foundation in the careers that we intend to develop and someday hope of being stable and provide our families a better future. When I first came here in the Middle East, my mother told me to enjoy my money and not send her every month unless she asks. So there I was, enjoying the money I’m getting and spending it to little pleasures such as indulging myself to Japanese food, few branded clothes, shoes, technologies, etc. But I was a fool not to save for my future and when I came back from my first vacation, I’ve been having a hard time dividing my salary between the money I need to send my mother (because I have decided to constantly send her money so she won’t suffer and I want her to be at ease and rest-she did too much and sacrificed too much for me, not only her but my father as well), pay my postpaid plan, transport, my little pleasures, and my savings. I haven’t done this before. When I was in college, my mother does all of these for me (not only college but of course, the rest of my life until I got my first job) and all I do is to follow whatever she says. When I had my first job, I had more expenses to pay such as rent, water and electricity bill, and our water and electricity bill back at my parent’s house as well. I wasn’t able to save. I’m turning 24 next month and I’ve reached my fourth year since I graduated from college but where am I now? I am still a line employee with no Masterals. When I look back, I try to evaluate the choices I made. Did I make a wrong turn? Should have I followed my first plan? But no, I shouldn’t question this now because I know that I have enjoyed and became happier when I made those choices. I can’t change them now. They’re a part of who I was and if I wanted to get better from that then I must not repeat the same choices or i’ll end up in the same position years from now. So I took a few months to think. Do it for the money or for the foundation of your future career? Both, and never let both of them overpower each other. I wanted to do something that keeps my spirit alive.

So when the manager called me if I was interested, I said I’ll think about it and get back to her. I even called my bestfriend whether I should go home and be happy next to my significant other,friends,and relatives. I said that I wanted to be save money and at the same time hAppy. And I know that I was driven by my emotions missing my significant other and he’s the main reason why I wanted to go home. To stop my yearning, my cries, and start hoping that we would marry soon. But I was hoping for nothing. I knew That marriage was still outside, far away from the relationship we’ve built for four years. And this time should be more about me, myself. I should start growing away from my fears by addressing them. Drive them away from future. So there I was.. I made a decision and called the manager back.

“I want my basic (salary) to be the same since I already have enough experuence in the hotel and please allow me to go in a vacation on March because it’s [insert significant other’s name here] college graduation.”

She agreed and started processing my transfer a month ago. I was at peace not until two days ago, the secretary of my boss asked me if I was sure that I can go on vacation on March since I’m transferring. I informed her that my future department doesn’t need to worry since I am only eligible for 20 days vacation. We are eligible for 30 days/year and I took 40 this year. But something inside me still worries. That’s my biggest problem, I may say I trust people but there comes a certain point where I feel worried and it feels natural to me, I don’t know with other people.

I called the manager today and confirmed.

🙂

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