Today, my work starts at 7pm and might as well end around 3am instead of 2am so I might go home around 5am. Why? Because there’s a Halloween Party today and people are gonna be drinking until they vomit. Last year when I was in the same Halloween Party, we they stopped serving drinks at 3am even though people are still starving for alcohol to death. So even though I know that I’m going to be working at 7pm, I’m sitting in my bed now trying to relax my mind by blogging and browsing the internet while waiting for my Papa John’s Pizza delivery. I feel so lazy today. I don’t know why but I do. I just want to lay in bed all day but I need to go to work later.
Was I born unlucky? Or am I made to be not be 100% happy? Because I feel like everytime I try to feel free and happy,something bad happens next and I know a lot of people suffer from this as well but mine’s the worst. It’s the fastest reaction. For example, I was so happy and confident right now then after a few minutes, something upsetting will follow. So sometimes, I feel like I shouldn’t even expect or to look forward for my day to be better even though I say, “Bring it on life! Start the day with positivity! Good vibes!” Does anybody understand what I’m going through? Or maybe I’m so sensitive that I feel like I’m still a child locked inside a young adult’s body trying to challenge life but I just can’t still absorb and address the challenges like a young adult should be. I still cry everytime I get upset and I can’t help it. It’s so natural with me and it’s becoming a problem That I can’t endure. Being abroad makes it worse. I don’t have my friends here. I am not strong without them, that’s how I feel. My significant other’s not here as well. I ain’t got nobody to embrace after an upsetting day at work.
I guess all I can do for now is to try to be strong.. Try and try.. Until my heart becomes stronger to endure the hurt that life offers everyday.
Yesterday was my day off and usually, while cleaning my room and doing the laundry, I’m also blogging to clear my head but recently I’ve lost the interest to post anything in ny Blogger blog. I really don’t know why but knowing that everybody that I know personally in the Philippines know about that blog, I’m starting to have the feeling (again) to be disconnected for a while. I have decided to make this more personal and straightforward.
So yesterday, I wasn’t able to blog because I was in a rush to finish doing my laundry and room cleaning early. Why? Because me and my roommate planned to go to the mall and do our little shopping cos we heard that there were a lot of sale and what we heard didn’t fail us. I was able to buy two new blouses, a pair of pants,lotion and perfume from Victoria’s Secret, and spend only BD 20 for my groceries. We also bought some colorful boards to design our windows to stop the light from coming in to our room.
And after a tiring three hours canvassing for clothes and shoes, 30 minutes dinner, 30 minutes buying the chosen best priced items, 30 minutes groceries, we loved to end the night with a glass of red wine to help us sleep through the night. Plus a good movie to have a few healthy laughs before going to sleep.
We also bought this wonderfully matched slippers for BD 2.5/pair
I have decided to send money to my parents today, go the salon for a mani-pedi (cos it’s been three months since I last visited the salon), bought 2 wine glasses at Dasman for BD 1 and 5 pcs of hangers, and give myself a little cheating spree on my diet. After sending money to both my parent’s and my bank account in the Philippines, I wanted to go to Dasman which is just two blocks away from Nafex (it’s like Western Union, just.. Cheaper on the services). But I hesitated cos the next thing that I don’t want to do is to buy things I don’t really need since I’m on a tight budget. Then suddenly, my stomach start to growl and I knew that I had to find food and just my luck, Shaflout, a Filipino restaurant, is three stalls away from Dasman. I went inside and ordered Sisig with rice. While I was dining, I didn’t mean to hear what the people were talking about inside the restaurant. But their overly loud voices are pretty irritating and since Shaflout only has like 2 tables with 6 seats each, the place is really small and whatever the other person is talking about on the other table, I can totally hear it even though they’re whispering. I was just listening until I heard something that I haven’t heard in a long time. Maybe because I don’t go to places where Filipinos are abundant like of course, a freaking Filipino restaurant. And this is one of my reasons why I don’t like hanging out in places where Filipinos are a majority. I’m not saying that I don’t like my own people, I’m just saying that I don’t like the way they talk about their children and well, other people, this way.
So this is what I heard
“Yung panganay kong babae, may boyfriend na walang trabaho. Pareho silang walang trabaho. Maayos na sana eh, pero Sabi ko sa anak ko ‘Hindi ka na nga mabibigyan ng magandang buhay hindi pa mabigyan ng magandang lahi’ Ayon, sila parin hanggang ngayon”
Translation: My first child has a boyfriend who doesn’t work. Both of them doesn’t have work. I told my daughter that it’ll be okay but then I told her ‘He will not able to give you a good future and at the same time he will not give you a beautiful offspring’ Now, they’re still together.
Okay…what’s wrong in this situation.
Everything he just said is so wrong.
We all know, yes, parents don’t want their children end up being unstable and not be able to feed themselves at least three times a day. But come on! With the beauty topic.. I don’t think it’s reasonable. Maybe this doesn’t only happen in Filipino homes but all over the world. But I’m just sick and tired hearing such topics about a parent throwing rants at their children that their significant other will only bring bad physical attributes which is in their own perspective.
I wanted to say something to them but I wasn’t in the right position to tell them to leave their children’s choices alone. I know that these types of parents only want what’s best for them but they should be sensitive enough to not hurt the feelings of other people specially telling your own child that you don’t like his/her significant other just because your own perspective of ugly is based on the physical.
Right after paying my meal, I left the restaurant trying to not ruin my good mood thinking about people who exist and think of other people that way.
I rebonded my hair back in June when I went for vacation. But my curly hair is starting to grow longer everyday and I’m thinking whether I should rebond it again next year thinking of sacrificing my hair’s health just so it could look good on my face. I’m a lazy person so I don’t like dealing with my curly hair when it comes back but recently, whenever I pull my hair back to a bun, it looks good with the curls right after I remove the pony tail.
It looks natural and I’m starting to love it. It’s just that sometimes, it’s hard to handle or comb it in the morning. But I think, this year will be the last time that I’ll rebond my hair. I’ll start loving and acceptung my natural curls.